Individuals have their own needs.
- People need to be appreciated for what they do. If they aren’t appreciated, they stop working. They stop functioning in an organization, and they stop producing because of their feelings of unappreciation.
- They need love in all its forms. If they don’t get the affection they desire from their partners, they will be unable to function. They stop functioning in their personal lives while they search for the affection they desire in quantities that meet their needs.
- They need to feel connected and accepted. They will go to great lengths to please others and be accepted. These people need to be accepted so badly that they will sometimes do things against their will to get acceptance from others.
- Respect and recognition are essential for some people. Some people need more than the usual amount of respect. Others need to be publicly acknowledged and praised in order to keep their dignity. They will seek recognition and respect until they get it. This may mean rejecting friends and family who do not give them the respect and recognition that they desire. To get the respect and recognition they desire, they often look for friends with lower expectations.
- People need cash rewards for their efforts. Without the cash reward or return on investment they will resort to any means to achieve the financial satisfaction they seek. To find financial satisfaction, these people will break up friendships, travel great distances and get into huge debt. If they keep trying to prove that they have money, it can endanger their wealth.
Recognizing your extreme desires is half of the problem. It is possible to identify your motivations and change them to something that’s more manageable.
Consider the demands that a young woman could put on her life if she is driven by financial success. She is able to spend money, which is the key to any financial bonus in her life. She uses credit cards to get credit and then spends it beyond the limit. She spends more and more to stop her efforts to repay credit cards.
To avoid appearing “destitution” to her friends and family, she tries to make it seem like money is not an issue. Overindulgence in spending can lead to bankruptcy.
This is the only alternative. This route is popular for those who need to make ends meet.
Think of another young woman looking for acceptance and connection. She tries to be accepted by her family, but her efforts drain her emotionally and suck at herself physically. This leads her to become trapped in relationships that will eventually destroy her. She wants to escape but before she can, she is trapped in a toxic, oppressive relationship with too many people. She cannot escape.
There is still hope.
Each of these young women can overcome their stubborn obstacles and be whole again. They can defeat the urges that brought them here by regaining their personal boundaries and focusing on the fundamental principles of self-management and protection.
They will succeed when they recognize that their power to overcome their most desperate desires is within them.
- Self-respect.
- Self-appreciation.
- Self-acceptance.
- Self-care.
- Self-management.
These five simple steps will help you overcome any obstacles that come your way. These obstacles are not unique to anyone… Every person you meet has been affected by their own desires at one time or another.
Failures can come from either succumbing to their desires and failing or finding limited success by giving up other areas to pursue success in one area.
Think about the man who works long hours to make money and sacrifice his family. Or the man who leaves his family to seek respect for his beliefs and family. To get his self-righteous image, he’ll destroy his family.
Think about the woman who flees from unfavorable relationships only to be stuck in abusive relationships with men she promises but never receives. The number of people who are willing to give up so much in order to build relationships that they don’t have anything left at the end, and then die alone.
